Did you ever go along feeling the same old way for so long that you forgot that you ever felt any other way? Apparently I have been. I've not felt alive or healthy or energetic or anything for so long. I've gone to doctors who've told me I'm not sick enough to treat--almost, but not quite. So I've sucked it up. And sucked it up. And sucked it up. I've learned to make feeling like crap normal. Is that wrong? I mean, I've tried and I can't get better.
So, out of a vague memory of an herbal supplement from 20 years ago that helped me feel better than I'd felt in years (yeah, it's odd to say that when 20 years ago I was a 20-something wandering around feeling like crap all the time), I picked some up again. I've been on it for 4 or 5 days. And I'm going to say that the strangest thing is happening. I've been able to function without a nap for 2 days. Now, you may not think that's much, but to me it's huge. You may say, "It's only 4 or 5 days so you can't know for sure." Yeah, I'm not getting my hopes up; but I'm hopeful. I'm hopeful because I woke up on time feeling like I'd slept last night. I'm hopeful because I did multiple errands without any dread. I'm hopeful because I still felt like I had life left in me after the errands and I made meatloaf and mashed potatoes for dinner. And I swept floors and did laundry and dishes. And I cleaned my bathroom. And it's almost 9:30 pm and I'm doing okay. I'm tired but not the usual exhausted. Just tired.
So, maybe I can learn to have a new normal where I can think clearly and process things that need to be done and then be able to accomplish those things. If things are still chugging along nicely in a week, I'll spill the beans on the supplement.
Tuesday, March 31, 2015
Monday, March 16, 2015
I'm just a temp from Chiswick
If you know me, you know I love Doctor Who. It doesn't matter if it's classic or new Who because I love it. I love the cheesy drama. I love the fanciful. I love the dream.
The Doctor always has his companions. He needs his companions. They are important to him. They help keep him sane.
I feel like I'm often Rose or Donna from new Who. My life is mundane. It's getting up every morning and doing the same.old.thing. I'm nothing special. I'm just a wife and mom. I get buried in the routine.
I sweep the same floors every day and yet they never look clean. Kids, dogs, and life in general come right behind me and muck them all up. I can never have an empty sink. As soon as I dry my hands and turn off the kitchen light, someone comes behind me and creates more work. I clean up clutter piles and then turn around to find them all right back where I cleaned them.
I donate about 15-15 gallon trash bags of stuff to charity every year. Some years more, depending on how much the kids have grown. And yet there's always more stuff to replace what I took out.
This is my every day. This is my all week. This is all year. Mundane. Routine. Rut.
It's nothing to write about. "I'm just a temp from Chiswick. I'm nothing special."
Except that writing is supposed to help me break out of my rut; maybe it's supposed to simply help me see beyond my rut. This is a bit of a quandry because how is writing about the same old thing every day for 365 days going to help me see things better?
On the other hand, I am an introvert. I don't need new and exciting things. That sort of thing just wears me out.
Maybe next year's resolution will be 365 days of reading.
The Doctor always has his companions. He needs his companions. They are important to him. They help keep him sane.
I feel like I'm often Rose or Donna from new Who. My life is mundane. It's getting up every morning and doing the same.old.thing. I'm nothing special. I'm just a wife and mom. I get buried in the routine.
I sweep the same floors every day and yet they never look clean. Kids, dogs, and life in general come right behind me and muck them all up. I can never have an empty sink. As soon as I dry my hands and turn off the kitchen light, someone comes behind me and creates more work. I clean up clutter piles and then turn around to find them all right back where I cleaned them.
I donate about 15-15 gallon trash bags of stuff to charity every year. Some years more, depending on how much the kids have grown. And yet there's always more stuff to replace what I took out.
This is my every day. This is my all week. This is all year. Mundane. Routine. Rut.
It's nothing to write about. "I'm just a temp from Chiswick. I'm nothing special."
Except that writing is supposed to help me break out of my rut; maybe it's supposed to simply help me see beyond my rut. This is a bit of a quandry because how is writing about the same old thing every day for 365 days going to help me see things better?
On the other hand, I am an introvert. I don't need new and exciting things. That sort of thing just wears me out.
Maybe next year's resolution will be 365 days of reading.
Friday, March 6, 2015
Are you well read?
I saw a post on Book Riot about being well read. I think it was a very good article because it addressed the fact that there are various notions about what being well read looks like. The article, which I will link at the end nailed it perfectly. And I feel better about myself now.
Being well read isn't based upon someone's list of requirements. You know. those lists of books that come flooding by telling you 17 books that should be read by the time you are 16; 20 books to read in your 20's; 12 books to read to your 2 year old. Yeah, those. And every time you look at those lists, you see how you failed to be well read.
Well, it's time to take heart. Just because you didn't read that author's/blogger's/editor's picks doesn't mean you failed. It means that maybe you've enjoyed a lot of things others missed.
I mean, if your list includes The Odyssey, The Inferno, The Brothers Karamazov, Little Dorrit, a Jonathan Winters biography, a few other obscure biographies, and a mish-mash of non-fiction, vs. The Bell Jar, A Passage to India, Frankenstein, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, and biographies about JFK, MLK, and Harry Truman, how are you any less well read than the if the list were switched?
The point of being well read is to read. Just read. Pick up a book and devour it. Let the fictional characters beat you up; live life with those in the biographies; learn something useful from the non-fiction.
Isn't that the point of reading? Variety is the spice of life. Being well read means you read things that aren't by your favorite author. It means picking up things that might be a little hard and persevering through them and being richer at the end.
And if you and I cannot discuss what books we have in common, we can still converse about books we don't have in common because we will share recommendations.
Go forth and read, Friends!
Are you well read?
Being well read isn't based upon someone's list of requirements. You know. those lists of books that come flooding by telling you 17 books that should be read by the time you are 16; 20 books to read in your 20's; 12 books to read to your 2 year old. Yeah, those. And every time you look at those lists, you see how you failed to be well read.
Well, it's time to take heart. Just because you didn't read that author's/blogger's/editor's picks doesn't mean you failed. It means that maybe you've enjoyed a lot of things others missed.
I mean, if your list includes The Odyssey, The Inferno, The Brothers Karamazov, Little Dorrit, a Jonathan Winters biography, a few other obscure biographies, and a mish-mash of non-fiction, vs. The Bell Jar, A Passage to India, Frankenstein, The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, and biographies about JFK, MLK, and Harry Truman, how are you any less well read than the if the list were switched?
The point of being well read is to read. Just read. Pick up a book and devour it. Let the fictional characters beat you up; live life with those in the biographies; learn something useful from the non-fiction.
Isn't that the point of reading? Variety is the spice of life. Being well read means you read things that aren't by your favorite author. It means picking up things that might be a little hard and persevering through them and being richer at the end.
And if you and I cannot discuss what books we have in common, we can still converse about books we don't have in common because we will share recommendations.
Go forth and read, Friends!
Are you well read?
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