When they are the ones who doubt themselves the most, it's beautiful to watch them tentatively spread their wings. There's joy for them as they fly the first time; and they have the fears.
Saying goodbye to Hannah yesterday knowing she was about to embark upon some of the most difficult days she's ever faced was hard. When she told Rebecca that she loved her best of all and Becca cried was hard too.
There's an awkward quietness around the house today. I guess it's the silence of missing someone when you can't really find the words to say it.
Well, let's be honest. There are ways in which her leaving are a relief. She's been moping and angsty for about three years. We don't miss that. But we miss her presence among us. We miss the moments of being giddy about her upcoming garden. We miss the body in her couch corner. We miss the body in her bed. She may have been moody, but she was ours.
Now she belongs to the Army. I have watched the Army change her. I have watched her become happy again. I have watched her start to believe that she can do the things I've always known she could do. I've watched them give her purpose, even if the purpose she thought she wanted and the purpose they decided she was going to have were two different things.
So, we'll grieve a while. And then we won't anymore because her absence will become our normal. And we'll see her in about 10 weeks and we'll see how she's changed and grown into some amazing thing she never believed she could be.
And we will pray for her. Because there is no more hands on for me; I've been downsized from that part of her life. But I cannot be denied prayer.
So, #GoArmy and make her #ArmyStrong because in my heart I think this is the right thing for her. And that makes it the right thing for me.
No comments:
Post a Comment