Heartache comes like a tsunami

Hannah's coming home. She's being discharged. Apparently the medical board decided that her condition wasn't a risk they were willing to take.  My child is crushed. 

She's feeling things that normal people would feel, mostly that she's a disappointment to people.

But let me tell you.

She's as far from a disappointment as the earth is from the sun. 

She dared greatly. She got up and tried something most people would never dream of doing. She left the comforts of home and put herself in the hands of yelling, cussing drill sergeants who were bent on shaping her into something they needed. Now really. That's kind of crazy isn't it?  

She shared stories of the decisions others were making that got everyone into trouble. Things that got them out of bed at 2 am to enjoy a little PT time; things that lost them those precious phone calls home...then there was the time they had locker/personal inspections because of a contraband cell phone. Yes, the hours of no expectation of privacy. Who volunteers for that? Very few. 

The few weeks she got there have been life-changing in ways beyond description. 

She's no disappointment. This was a thing beyond her control and something we'd never even heard of before. What could she do? 

She'll come home. She will eventually get her head back in the game and figure out what she's going to do. 

I know that God's way is perfect; and I know that His way isn't easy.  

But I wonder, does Hannah know this? 

You will probably get tired of my Hannah updates

But I'm incredibly proud of her.

My faith dictates that it is God who directs the path of man and when I look at Hannah's path, I see very clearly that her way is His choice.

So, when I'm asked about how hard it is to have a daughter in that place, I can honestly say that it's okay because God put her there.  

She is currently squad leader (which is good for her because she has natural leadership qualities.) She is the locker/equipment example meaning her things must always be beyond expectation and she has that ability.

It's actually a joy for me to see her find in herself what I've always seen in her.

In a large family, there are certain places. In my house, Hannah and Tabitha are switched. Tabitha has certain qualities of the average firstborn child, but Hannah has more.  She has always been in competition with Tabitha for firstborn status.  It's rather odd to watch, but I think it explains Jacob and Esau to me in a way. 

But let it be known that I believe God chose this path for her and my soul is at rest. I'm not saying I don't miss her because our home has a hole now. I'm not saying I don't worry about her because I do. I need to know she's thriving. But her first letter home from BCT shows that she is thriving. And this lifts my spirit.