I received some very sad news today about a fellow I went to college with. He's gotten himself into huge trouble. Now, here is a fellow who inflicted a lot of pain (in me) because of his arrogance and deceitfulness. I should maybe be happy that he's getting his comeuppance. I certainly should feel vindicated. Yet, somehow, even after having had to deal with the sorrow from the hurt he caused me, I don't feel that toward him.
I feel--what? I'm not really sure.
What I see is the end of a lifetime of arrogance and deceit coming to its end. Maybe, just maybe, he will turn to Christ instead of himself. Maybe this is where it will end and true restoration can begin. Not that I believe he should EVER be given the trust of the ministry of the Gospel as a pastor again; but maybe the realization that God's mercy and compassion are two things his life has lacked.
Yet, maybe he won't repent. Maybe he will continue to be who he always was. That would be a shame.
I wonder, will those he made false accusations about me to come to apologize and finally hear my side of the story now that he has been exposed? I wonder if it matters yet after all these years.
It was only, really, in the past two years that I was able to (by God's grace alone) put those hurts away and not dredge them up to think about them again. Now, here they are again. I need time to process what I am supposed to think and what I need to feel. I need time to sort through the emotions so that I can rest in God's truth.
I need some time to cry now.
Jen, I have been so sick over it myself. It is truly awful. I am praying for him and his family. I will also pray for you as well as you begin to process this all.
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